March 8th - Morning Market Massacre

Last night my wife said that she would like to take me to the outdoor morning market, a sort of swap meet/farmers market where you can buy everything from artichokes to zucchinis all under one, well, sky. Sounded like fun to me! I love fresh fruit, especially when it's dirt cheap (It's usually the cheapest when there's still dirt on it. That's how you can tell if it's fresh too). So, we woke up extra early so we'd get there before the pickins got too slim, you see.

Walking to the market, there were a bunch of peripheral merchants, not necessarily part of the whole function, but taking advantage of all the foot traffic. I imagine you have to pay in order to get a stand at the market, but if you are say, 25 feet outside the gates, it's all gravy. One guy was standing there yelling “Everything you see, 2 for 1 Yuan!” On the ground all around him were little piles of nail clippers, rulers, rolls of tape, crazy glue (a glue-sniffer's paradise) and other odds and ends you usually find in your junk drawer back home. We stopped and the maid bought a few spools of thread. You never know, I might accidentally tear a hole in my batman outfit one night. I don't want to be out there fighting crime AND hypothermia.

We finally entered the market. We headed down the meat isle first. Here, you could buy every cut of meat imaginable, and some you'd probably care not to imagine. They had chicken legs, chicken feet, breasts, backs, necks, beaks, bones, and skin. If chickens had fins, they'd be there. I just covered my beak and kept on cluckin'. None of that today, thank you. My wife sampled a couple of cherry tomatoes. Oh yeah, they'll let you sample just about anything in this place. Except the chicken necks. There was this incident a while back, and they don't want to stick their neck out any further on this one. Bada-bing!

We picked up some hand-made noodles and a block of wiggly-jiggly tofu. I've never been a huge fan of tofu, or “douf” as it's called here, but if it's cooked just right, aka deep-fried, I'll eat it. Actually, you could probably deep-fry turds and I'd like it. I love anything battered and dipped in hot oil. Which conveniently, is the next item we bought!

My wife wanted to buy her childhood morning market treat, but apparently they stopped selling it. I suggested health code violations, but she said the weather was too cold. We settled instead on a deep-fried honey cake. I figured it would taste great, you know, being deep fried and all, but boy was I wrong. It was quite flavorless, and the batter kind of stuck to the roof of your mouth in gritty cream-form. Yuck! After one bite I was done with that little catastrophe.

I saw another catastrophe today, but it was in human form. There was a beggar sitting on a little homemade cart in the middle of the crowded market. He had a little plastic bucket on the ground beside him, into which passers-by were dropping coins. Now, back home I walk past beggars all the time. You can never tell if they actually need the money, whether or not they'll feed themselves with it, or if it's going up their nose or into a hypodermic. This time, I was sure it was going to a good cause.

To start with, the man had no shoes on. That was sad. But when I got up closer, I saw that he had no toes on either foot! That was a bloody tragedy! When I looked at his hands, I saw that he was missing 2-3 fingers on each hand. He had no teeth, and I could see scars on his emaciated face, either from some sort of cruel torture, or maybe they were self-inflicted, I don't know. We dropped some coins into his bucket and headed off. I wonder if he got enough to buy himself something to eat today.

I usually try to wind up these little stories with some humorous quip for you, the reader's enjoyment, but this time, for the sake of that poor, toeless bugger, I think I'll end it on the serious side today. Be thankful for what you have, and try not to act in prejudice when it comes to those with an outstretched hand. Take a closer look, and it could be a face you recognize, or maybe your own reflection some day. If you're always in too big a hurry to lend a hand, who's to say anybody will drop you a coin when you need it? There, that's my preaching for the month.