I sorta borrowed the title for today's entry from an early Beat Generation novel called “And the Hippos Were Boiled in their Tanks” because I think it fits in a way. Yesterday we decided to make use of out limited time here in China by going across the river to see some animals. My wife loves animals of all sorts – dogs, cats, birds, slugs, you name it. When I first arrived in Harbin some six weeks ago, I noticed a sign at the airport for “Harbin Polarland” which showed some penguins wearing sunglasses, and a father and son tobogganing with a Polar Bear. Looked like a good time!
Aside from Polarland, there is also a Tiger Preservation Centre over on the other side of the river. It's sort of a nature reserve dedicated to the preservation and breeding of large cats. My wife missed our family cat I guess, because next thing I knew, we were on a safari through this semi-large grassland full of roaming tigers. For 40 Yuan, you could order a live chicken and watch them feed it to a huge adult tiger right in front of your eyes. We did, and I must say, I've never seen a chicken crap out its intestines before, but once the tiger put a big Chomp on the bird’s stomach, you might say it was scared shitless.
After the mobile tour was over, we were allowed to roam around in the breeding centre. Here they would put a male and a female of the same species (or sometimes not) to hopefully produce an offspring. Actually, there was a bit of playing God going on, because they had lions and tigers together in the same pen, in order to produce Liger cubs, which they proudly had on display. There were also cheetahs, leopards, and my favorite, the jaguars. We actually interrupted 2 jaguars getting their jag on, and one of them wouldn’t stop staring at me for as long as I was standing there. I guess if you interrupt two people while they are getting down to business, you are public enemy #1, at least around these parts.
On my way out, I had a chance to read some despicably-translated materials on the park. It was founded in 1996 after Bengal tigers were put on the endangered species list, and is now home to over 600 large cats, including the rare “white tiger”. I was hoping they were also home to the rare 80's band “Glass Tiger”, but I wasn't so lucky. I felt dejected, once again, because my dream of taking part in a Chinese 80's headbanger's ball were again crushed.
After we left the tiger amusement park, I figured we were just going home. That seemed like enough excitement for one day. But Nooooo, the driver pulled into another parking lot, this time with garbage cans shaped like penguins greeting us at the entrance. The idea with these trash receptacles is, you actually put your waste in the penguin’s mouth! I thought most zoos discouraged feeding the animals, but this one has that all taken care of. Feeding the penguins is okay, as long as they are 4 feet tall and made of fiberglass.
Once inside, we looked at some sturgeon and I could have sworn I smelled fish frying somewhere in this place. It must be like that fish farm I worked at one summer. Every week, they would let us take home a fish to barbecue. At least my coworkers convinced me that I was allowed to. Maybe that’s why I never did get asked to come back the next summer...Somewhere in the hidden back rooms of this place, I just know there is a big ol’ country fish fry going on, and damn if I wasn't just a little bit hungry.
Moving on, we saw seals swimming around in a tank, but the water looked like it was about “kiddie-pool” depth, plus there were all these props in there with them – a dingy, some sort of water wheel, a bunch of buoys, and not to mention, 4 seals. I watched them flop around for a bit, but then we moved on to the next exciting animals – the penguins!
When you think of penguins, that big-time, box office smash “March of the Penguins” probably comes to your mind. This documentary features only 1 type of penguin, the “Emperor Penguin”. They are the largest of the penguin family, and make some pretty cool noises too. At Polarland, there is a whole mish-mash of the penguin brotherhood. I counted at least 3 different species, and there were about 30 penguins in all, hopping around on the fake rocks, all jazzed up with white spray paint so you felt like you were in the arctic. I followed the journey of one guy from the time he plopped his round little body into the water, to his loops and summersaults all over the tank. He looked like he was having tons of fun. Just then a worker entered the penguin habitat to check on something. It was funny, because the penguins must recognize him as a source of food. They all followed him in a big line, single file. It looked like a big game of follow-the-leader, but no fish were given out as prizes. The dude just checked the thermostat and left. Poor little guys didn't even get a sardine for their troubles.
Now, moving on to the next area, I saw out of the corner of my eye, what looked like a big hairy blonde dude swimming laps. That reminds me, my YMCA membership has run out. No, wait, that's a Polar Bear! There were 2 of the beasts, with one doing the backstroke from end to end of the water tank, and another up on the fake rocks, looking like he wanted to kill somebody. He must have been pissed off, because this tank was tiny. I was actually pretty appalled at the size of this tank. When both Polar Bears were in the water together, they could barely move around. Luckily, they learned to swap now & again, with one in the water swimming laps, and the other pacing on the rocks, from end to end. The whole tank couldn't have been more than 15 or 20 feet long, and less than that in depth. My wife asked one of the workers if they have a “Polar Bear Show” like they do with the seals. I saw him laugh. I figure he said something like “Are you crazy? Do you think someone would actually get in there with 2 angry Polar Bears?”
Aside form the Polar Bears, the main attraction at this place was 2 Beluga Whales. Back in Vancouver, the local Aquarium has 3 or 4, I think, with one having just died last summer. Tragic, I know, but what's more tragic is the lack of space these poor animals have at Harbin Polarland. I think they make due with what they have though, because one of the whales was swimming around, playing with a toy and having a great time. The other one was just sitting still, not moving at all, and only coming up for breaths now and again. Either it was napping, or it just doesn't have the energy to move. The Belugas I've seen in captivity are usually pretty blubbery, and almost like big marshmallows. These 2 were slim, grayish things with scars all over them. I don't know their story, but either they got outta line and the trainer gave them a lashing, or they were rescued in a harbour somewhere, after getting caught in a fisherman's net. Either way, I didn't feel like watching them.
My wife on the other hand, wanted to stick around for the Whale Show at 1PM. In the meantime, we checked out the shark tank downstairs. It was odd. All these different tropical fish, turtles and manta rays were swimming around in the same tank as 3 great big bull sharks. Why don't they eat them? Maybe they are all vegetarians like in the Jack Black movie. Maybe they're just full. Yeah, that's probably it. Maybe here used to be several hundred fish in this tank. Now, there's maybe 50. After a while, they probably got sick of fish. How about a nice, juicy tourist. We're sick of Chinese food too. What's that? Italian? Mama mia! I think I'm safe though. Nobody ever asks for Canadian food, do they? What do you feel like tonight, honey? Chinese? Indian? Maybe Thai? Naw, how about some Canadian?!?! Ok, I'll get the timbits, you go pick up a 12-pack of Molson. Now that's a wholesome dinner!
After a bunch of fluttering around, getting the Belugas to wag their tails like dogs and wave to the giddy onlookers, they cranked up the music, and the trainer got in the pool. Now to add to the cheese-factor, they were playing Celine Dion, and the trainer started floating around, pretending to kiss the whale. Awww, isn't that sweet. I kept waiting for the whale to make a wrong turn and crush the pesky human up against the side of the tank, but it never happened. The whole show lasted about 7 minutes, and ended with the wetsuit-clad teenager jumping out of the water off the nose of the whale. My wife really enjoyed it, so I played along, No point ruining her day with my “plight of the animals” schpeal. She agreed that the tanks were too small, but I suppose in China, the rules are more lax when it comes to animal treatment. Heck, back home, you practically have to cross a picket line to go to the circus. I know, I once applied to be a carnie, but I couldn't take the carnage.
On the way out, we stopped off to have one last look at the Polar Bears, and a pair of wolves that were also on display. I read the sign and learned that the wolves were from Canada. Finally! Someone I can relate to. I asked them where the nearest Tim's was, but I don't think they heard me. They were too busy watching over their young. Watching them over there in that other pen. I don't know what it will do to you if you are separated from your parents by a pane of glass, but it had these wolf cubs thinking they were hamsters. There was a little training wheel in the middle of the cub pen, and one of them was running his little legs off. I have expected his water dish to be filled with gator-aid and to see him wearing a little sweat band on his wolf-mullet. But no, like me, these guys like it “au-naural”. No gimmicks, no special equipment. Just me, the glass wall, and my giant hamster wheel. Now excuse me, I have to go eat my food pellets now. Don't step on my tail.
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