January 24th - Gettin in shape so I don't look fat in China

So today my friend and I went on a bike ride to Horseshoe Bay, which is about 30KM West of where I live, in beautiful East Van. I was a little nervous because I had already put my bike away in storage, and it had a bunch of dust on it. Would the brakes work? Would the chain fall off? Wood, stuck in between the spokes can make one flip over the handlebars. All these questions and general statements went through my head, which now had a dusty bike helmet strapped to it.

The ride went pretty well. I am happy to report that I burned off a few calories before the trip to China. Tomorrow I will do a 10K run, just to burn off the steak I just ate. I am a pretty healthy guy, but on my trip back to Stenchville, I gained 10 juicy holiday pounds. I have now burned off 5 so I'm halfway there!

I have a feeling that no matter how much weight I lose, I'll still be considered obese in China. It's just our genetic make-up here in North America. I don't think they have Extra Cheese and Big Gulps in China. And if they do, a small neighborhood of 37,000 people could share, and then live inside them.

I just watched a Russel Peters comedy show on the weekend. He said on a trip to China, his luggage got lost and he had to go buy some shoes and pants. Unfortunately, he is Shaquille O'Neil in China. Size 36 waist is standard hula hoop size over there. And for shoes, they just had to sell him 2 compact cars with Nike stamped on the side. Tsk Tsk counterfeit products are everywhere over there (they were actually Adidas cars).

So, in an effort not to be called fat by my MIL (mother in law) upon our first meeting, I am going to wear 3 layers or clothing. When she comments on my size, I'll simply show her the 3 pairs of pants I am wearing, because us Vancouverites can't handle the northern Chinese winters. Actually, we can't even handle Canadian Winters. And, if they lose my luggage, I'm covered for a few days. Maybe I can just tie a bed sheet around my ass for the time being and poke a head-hole in a Chinese parachute to get by.